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Innovative Politics April 20, 2009

Posted by bitemyhead in Humour, Politics.
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I was reading the newspaper on my way back home on friday and this news item caught my eye. There was a huge photograph of a man selling coconuts with the words ‘star vendor’ printed below. This man, Vatal Nagaraj, contesting the upcoming Lok Sabha elections from a Bangalore constituency was selling coconuts to raise money for his election campaign! It sure is a nice way to grab attention and a little humour hurts nobody, right? The election commission though thought there was nothing amusing about it and served him with a notice to explain his actions.  The tricky part is that, the EC thinks he’s selling the coconuts below market price and hence the act of selling coconuts amounts to a bribe while Vatal actually says the buying is entirely voluntary with the people coming forward and paying anywhere from a modest five bucks to an astonishing five hundred bucks for his coconuts. Mr. Tongue-in-cheek wants to know the marked price of a coconut, if there is one, and if it is the election commission that fixed it at that? Any thoughts on this,  Mr. M.R. Hegde? Random incidents like these make Indian Politics a thoroughly enjoyable fare to follow. You’d be amazed by the subtle intelligence with which this cadidate markets himself. He owns coconut groves, is in the coconut business and the coconut is his election symbol! Now, theres a man who knows to sell his symbol. I am pretty sure he never went to a business school to study marketing and yet he surprises all of us with his innovative election campaign. Even if he doesn’t win, he will be remembered as the guy who sold coconuts to raise election money. And finally, I give you another dose of his humour with this parting quote he gave to newspersons.

” I’ve asked all my party workers to gather all the coconut pieces after they break a coconut during the election campaign. The election commission may otherwise charge us with bribing the public if anyone happens to eat one of the shattered coconut pieces. Who knows!”

PS: Mr. M.R.Hegde is the State Election Commissioner. I bet Vatal knew that already 😀

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Keeping it Simple April 1, 2009

Posted by bitemyhead in Life.
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I often attach more importance to things than they deserve and end up spending eons of time obsessing and worrying about it. I’d like to think that’s an exaggeration, but sadly, it isn’t. Most people won’t notice that you got a haircut, much less analyze it like you do. There are a few irritating specimens in this universe who would draw your attention to a bad haircut at every opportunity they get, or say something smart about it and laugh at their own joke. I suggest you laugh with them and forget about it. It’s only your hair and it will grow back. When you do get that fab haircut after multiple experiments, you’ll find the same scum of a specimen complimenting you generously and you’ll forget all about the scum of a specimen he actually is.  Long hours in front of the mirror or swearing at the lady who talked you into it won’t make your haircut go away or your hair grow faster. The best thing to do would be to simply wait and try your next experiment at the first opportunity you get.

Pondering about why a certain X said that about you only gives you headache after the first few minutes of painful recollection of the details. Beyond a point, you forget what actually gave you the headache and just remain in a sour mood for the rest of the day.  Where’s the point in this? If you’d just made your peace with the statement as something he just happened to say and gone on with your business you would have been a much happier person. Scientifically it’s been proven happier people live longer. Forget about living longer, it atleast makes living easier. I wonder if all the technological advancements, in the name of making your life simpler are only in fact complicating things to a point of no return. The mobile phone, for instance, claims to keep you connected to the important people, your near and dear ones, but what it also does is open the doors to incessant anonymous, promotional calls. Actually who wants to be so ‘connected’ anyway? You are constantly disturbed by the ringing of your phone or the beep of your messages and not answering would a raise a lot many questions which you’d rather avoid by just answering the bloody phone! Complicted isn’t it? What’s worse is that it has, in such a short time, cemented its place as an absolute necessity in everyday life. It does have its share of plus points actually the pluses outnumber the minuses, which is why it is such a big hit, but being constantly trailed by an electronic detective definitely knots things up. Being stripped of the liberty to remain out of touch, without a zillion questions following it, just sucks.

The first man on earth must have had an awesome life without the necessity to be well educated, without the cellphone, without the haircuts and the clothes, without the need to do something with his life, without all those people to judge, without a worry about what tomorrow would bring.  We can’t be him, but we can learn the tricks from him. Going with the flow, tackling every new day with all its challenges with enthusiasm and an open mind, keeping the worries at bay are just some of the many things he knew, being the primitive ape man that he was, and we, being the sophisticated earthlings of the 21st century, don’t.

A guy on TV gave me something to think about yesterday when he was giving his friend some advice. He spoke about a guy who comes home one evening, and finds his wife in bed  with another guy. He takes out his gun and shoots his wife down. The wive’s lover asks him why he shot his wife instead of him? The husband coolly replies that he was just being smart, he wouldn’t have to shoot her next lover. The guy in the show goes on to say the woman personifies the mind and her lover personifies worry. He says curbing the mind is smarter than curbing the worries that haunt it. Even though I didn’t quite agree with him, I saw, in his example, the scope for improvisation. A mind in chains is like a life in jail. Curbing your worries just lets you experience things and stay happy when things go wrong. Best of both wrolds in some sense? So next time, just do your thing and live your life! Keep it simple and you’ll find the earth is a much happier place to live in!

Cheers! February 26, 2009

Posted by bitemyhead in Cheers!.
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To new beginnings! 😀